I thought control was end game.

lol

I thought having everything figured out, running smoothly, no hiccups was what it meant to be successful.

I thought control meant power. I thought control meant safety.

I tried to control literally everything in my life. Spoiler, it led to burnout — and this was before even having a business.

I was the type of person with a five year plan clearly mapped out and everything had to go accordingly or else I’d spontaneously combust. I was in a constant state of high pressure, stress and fight or flight and the more I focused on how little control I had, the more I fought to regain control over anything I could.

Story as Old as Time

Here’s mine:

Building a house just after covid seemed like a good idea because it was just before all the house prices went up and we were pushed out of a market we could never get back into. After months of delays, our house finally started! More delays, more floods, less work on our house. Then, the worst happened — our builder went bust.

Based on this house being built, I had carefully planned and organised the next five years and when major milestones in my life would happen. So not only was the build 2.5 years (instead of six months lol), but it also meant NOTHING in my carefully organised life was going to happen when I wanted it to.

Many meltdowns, litres of tears, being angry at the world and taking it out on the few things I had control over (like my business) was a major turning point and made me realise that forcing control isn’t the right approach. And let me tell you, the business took a major hit in so many ways because of the white knuckled grip I had on it.

I’m talking:

financially
my reputation
client projects
reduced momentum
constant second guessing
incessant comparison

Control Over All = Scarcity Mindset

You don’t actually have control. As a business owner, you’re pouring your time and energy into things you cannot control and wonder why you’re burning out and bursting at the seams.

It helps to bucket it.

Covey’s Circles help you focus your energy where it actually matters:

Circle of Concern: Things you care about but can’t control. Spending too much time here = stress and wasted energy.
Circle of Influence: Things you can influence but not fully control. Focusing here grows your impact over time.
Circle of Control: Things you fully control. Energy here guarantees results.

Shifting your focus from concern → influence → control helps you reduce stress, reclaim your energy and drive real growth in your business.

Get over it and move on.

It’s easy to get stuck spinning in the wrong circle. You’re probably stressing over the economy, cost of living, the housing crisis, making enough money, algorithm changes or what your competitors are posting. These are concerns - things you cannot control. Spinning here, in this wheel drains your energy, fuels comparison and leaves you stuck in constant procrastination.

The cost isn’t just stress. It’s lost opportunity. Every hour spent fretting over the unchangeable is an hour you could spend building influence or control. The two areas that have the potential to actually move your business forward. Research on locus of control shows that people who focus on what they can influence and control are more resilient, more productive and more likely to succeed.

You can influence:

your client experience
networking and building connections
visibility and brand awareness

You can control:

offers
branding
internal and operational systems
your mindset and outlook

Try this…

How to shift your mindset when you start spinning out.

Grab a piece of paper and list your top 5 worries or tasks.
Bucket them into Covey’s Circles: Concern → Influence → Control.
Ask yourself: What can I actually influence or control today?

For example: worried about referrals? You can’t force them, but you can influence them with a smooth onboarding process, thoughtful client touch points and consistent follow-ups. Immediately - wasted energy into strategic action.

This isn’t just mindset fluff. It’s a strategy. Start auditing your circles this week. Where are your energy leaks? Where can it be reclaimed? The less time you spend on what you can’t control, the faster you grow the things you actually can.

You can control your brand and how you show up. And you can start with the Breakthrough Brand. It was built to help creative founders just like you break out of their good girl brand, cut through the noise and charge their worth. Get all the info.