i had nothing to say.

The journey of coming back to oneself with original thoughts, ideas and opinions. And why it took a holiday to find my brain.

Constant consumption with not an original thought in my f*cking brain apparently.

Feeling like everything I wanted to express had already been expressed in better, more articulate, more insightful ways.

As an opinionated and usually deep thinker, there was crickets in my head.

Like, wtaf?

I started identifying with the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz (a movie I notoriously have hated since I was a child, so this was big for me).

Then I went on holidays for three weeks.

Consumed only by places to see and foods to eat.
My top app usage was Google Maps (until my partner took over the navigating, as expected).
I only used my personal socials.
I only replied to comments and DMs on posts on my business page.
I posted a few random stories so people knew I was alive.
I only checked TikTok to find recs for the places I was in.
My screen time plummeted.
New neural pathways were being created.

I started feeling like me again…Then the weirdest thing happened.

I started having thoughts! Yes, just like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, I actually did have a brain!

I started thinking critically about business, brands, life, my role in it all.

I had useful, conceptual ideas. I had real thoughts!

I had thoughts I could put down on paper and wasn’t afraid to actually put my name to.

Despite not being revolutionary, as a self-proclaimed opinionated and outspoken person, it felt like I was coming back to life, because I all of a sudden had actual, personal and relevant opinions again.

Why did it take going overseas?

Because I stopped reading what every single person on the internet had to say.

I had logged off of socials and logged into actually being present and engaged in what was right in front of me. Only caring about my next meal or which sunglasses I should buy.

I was at the point where I was questioning my experience, wondering if I truly was a critical thinker or if I was just regurgitating trending information with no real insight or forward thinking.

I was truly questioning what I actually brought to the table as a business owner, as a brand designer, as a thought leader.

It was scary. And it worried me.

How do I run a business, become the go-to, show up as someone worth working with and learning from, if I can't even have an original thought?

Unfortunately, I do see so many half-baked ideas and concepts because individuals are lacking the critical thinking skills that lead to deeper thinking, deeper analysis and ultimately, deeper and more thought-provoking opinions. Thanks to the rise of ChatGPT (conversation for another time) but also the pure amount of content consumption every single minute. It's absurd, right?

I'll sit on TikTok attempting to find "inspiration" and all it does it put me in a state of paralysis staring at my screen trying to figure out how to rework someone else's idea into something that makes sense for me, my audience and my platform.

It's literally impossible! BECAUSE it wasn't my idea and I had no strong feelings about it, it was just what I thought people would want to read/watch because some other business owner posted about it.

The catch-22.

It's such a catch-22 because it feels like there is this unspoken need to

stay up to date with trends to remain relevant
be consistently and constantly online and present to remain front of mind for your audience
be sharing content all the time, but make sure it's insightful and relatable but not too informative because educational content is dead
be where your audience is and make sure each piece of content is perfectly curated for every platform you're on

It's freakin exhausting. And trying to keep up with all of that when there's no original thoughts...intense.

The current state of this stream of consciousness.

To say that I've managed to write this entire article in like half an hour, without ChatGPT or any other AI, feels like such a major feat.

I feel my brain coming back to life. I can literally feel the pathways firing off right now.

Here's my unsolicited advice, because you got this far, you're probably feeling the same way.

Get off socials and don't consume external content for a while. Even just 24 hours.
Any time you have an idea - write it down! Write a few sentences about it and flesh it out a little so you can come back to it. This will start a stream of consciousness that will always serve you.
Find alternate sources of information. Read fiction. Read opinion pieces that have nothing to do with your industry or work.
Stop buying courses off random people or downloading freebies. Make sure what you're consuming is right for you AND you think about it critically. Don't just copy and apply - because that's not how it works when it comes to building a reputation or business that is aligned with your needs.
Get out of the house. Away from your desk. Go for a walk and voice note everything you see. Don't listen to an education podcast. Just experience your walk. Empty your mind and you'll notice the ideas flow.
Have a conversation with someone that disagrees with you. You never learn something from someone that agrees with you and it'll force you to articulate your opinions and ideas in ways you didn't expect.
Actively seek out conflict. Kind of. I'm talking intellectual conflict, not fisticuffs. Don't be afraid to be controversial and say something against the grain. And I'm not talking about something basic bitch like 'I love pineapple on pizza'. Grow the f*ck up.
Identify your values and content will flow from there.

And lastly, go on holidays. There's no better way to snap out of whatever intellectual rut you're in then experiencing something new and different. A completely different culture, way of living, experiences and unfamiliar settings are all positive things for the brain.

Gosh darn it, it feels good to be back.